Thursday, December 4, 2008

Curses

Strange dreams last night in which my brain was connected to my web sites, but faulty connections and vagaries of the Internet caused much of the text to look like dots on the Amsler Grid (The Amsler Grid is the pattern used for Macular Degeneration tests, and if you're seeing splotches and empty space on that grid like I do then it tends to mean you have a troubled macula).


I could barely disengage from the dream, which evolved from a hotel conference room. Sitting in that conference room I decided to go get something from my hotel room, but when I got to my room I discovered I had left my room key back in the conference room. I cursed at this discovery, and my curses were picked up by NYPD surveillance microphones and I was quickly detained for questioning.


The cops, staring at me bug-eyed, explained that it was a new spin on the "broken windows" theory of fighting crime. Instead of waiting for windows to be broken they instead mine public spaces for profanity, asssuming that we who curse are on our way to breaking windows and from there the inexorable path is carved to serial murder and coke-fueled terrorist rampages.


I explained that I was only trying to get into my room, but lacking a room key or other proof that this was my hotel room they escorted me from the building and placed me on a bus. The bus was very long and mostly empty save for 3 children and a payphone inside a glass cabinet. The children somehow managed to make $8.98 worth of calls from the payphone withouut having to pay for the calls, and we all got a laugh out of that.


The dream rambles on from there but now that I'm awake I find it conceivable that law enforcement could reach that level of bottom-feeding in the name of preventing crime.